This won’t take long because I am aware of how busy you are.
You must make a difficult choice. Many people are interested in hiring you, and they are all prepared to pay you millions of dollars. I understand why. At what you do, you are one of the finest in the world.
To put it briefly, you are among the MLB off-season’s crown jewels. The New York Yankees, New York Mets, Chicago Cubs, San Francisco Giants, and Texas Rangers have already been eliminated from the signing race. The only teams left are the upstart, constantly thrilling San Diego Padres and the powerful, unendingly wealthy Los Angeles Dodgers.
with the Blue Jays of Toronto. According to ESPN’s Jeff Passan, our city is one of three that are still surviving in spite of all the odds. However, you were previously aware of this.
You may be surprised to hear this, but Roki, we need you. Please select Toronto.
This isn’t our first spin on the “Bachelor”-esque MLB hot market. You might be familiar with a player named Shohei Ohtani, who made us delirious with hope last winter. We had more than 17,000 people tracking his private plane and an opera singer confirming a 50-person sushi restaurant reservation near the Rogers Centre.
Only Ohtani wasn’t on that plane. It was the guy from “Dragons’ Den.” (That’s the Canadian version of “Shark Tank,” by the way. It airs on CBC, which … well, nevermind.)
Long story short, Ohtani broke our hearts when he went to the Dodgers for, ugh, $700 million (U.S.). But Roki, here’s why it hurt so much: It wasn’t the first time, and certainly not the last, that we’ve played second fiddle. By this point, we’re practically the runner-up capital of North American sports.
We thought we had something good going with Kawhi Leonard. He helped us win our first NBA championship in 2019 and we loved him so much we offered him a whole bunch of free stuff to stay. But he didn’t. Los Angeles won that time, too.
The entire country fell in love with David Price in 2015, when he turned Blue Jays baseball into the most exciting thing this city had seen in 20 years. Then two months later he bounced for the evil empire’s ugly cousin, the Boston Red Sox.
Heck, the Jays have been selected second, third, and fourth everywhere even this off-season. Juan Soto? If you believe the rumours, he put us on the shortlist. Jeff Hoffman? Only after being passed up by his first and second choices due to a dubious physical did he sign with the Jays.
So, Roki, the point is we’ve been hurt plenty of times. We’re putting our hearts on the line again for you.
Money isn’t the most important factor for you. You already decided to give up tons of it by moving to North America before you turned 25, making you an amateur (not a free agent) under MLB rules. So in this three-horse race, it is city versus city versus city.
Here’s the argument for Toronto.
Toronto can be a tough city. We don’t have California’s eternal sunshine or sweet ocean air or the stars of Hollywood. (We get plenty of stars here, but they always pretend to be somewhere else.) We have stifling traffic, some bad weather and a slow-as-molasses bureaucracy. Our most anticipated transit project is years overdue and average rent has soared 16.8 per cent in the last five years. I’m sure you already saw some of this when you visited Toronto last week.
But true love is found in a harsh city. We’re constantly working to improve, no matter how long it takes; Toronto is a collaborative endeavour that is only 50% finished. (Trust me, it takes ages.) Even though we have three million residents, you can still notice the little things if you leave the downtown area. Discover a laneway artwork depicting a raccoon stealing a bank, get a cannoli from North Pole Bakery on the Danforth, or attend a small, unexpected performance by a country music icon at the Horseshoe Tavern. This city has the potential to win your heart.
We also adore our teams, even though it may not always seem that way. We still pack that arena even though the Maple Leafs haven’t won in 57 years, eight months, and twelve days. When the Jays are struggling, the Rogers Centre isn’t particularly attractive, but in 2015 and 2016, we witnessed the transformation this city can undergo after a postseason run.
And the Raptors championship parade? Whew.
Sure, if you like the idea of Los Angeles and playing alongside Ohtani and Yoshinobu Yamamoto and Mookie Betts and Freddie Freeman and every other star on the face of the planet, that’s fine. But behind those guys, you’ll never be loved like you will be in Toronto.
And if you like the idea of the Padres, with their ownership in turmoil and rumours of relocation swirling, that’s fine, too. But for all the bad press Rogers gets, they are as stable as owners get.
So, Roki, you have a tough decision to make, and you’ve only got until your posting window closes on Jan. 23 to make it. We’re prepared for our hearts to be broken, because they’ve been broken a million times before. As a city, we desperately want to be taken seriously. Rightly or wrongly, it seems we rarely are.
Leave a Reply